Ups & Downs Of Growing A Baby!

As I have been finishing preparations for baby, I have been thinking back on how this pregnancy has been a precious but difficult journey. There have been a lot of ups and downs since we first found out and though I have had my moments of enjoying it, I’m ready to get back to feeling like a normal person. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to grow a baby, but honestly only by God’s help and the support of Nate, family and a few friends has the difficulty of pregnancy been more bearable.

I remember the day I decided to take the Pregnancy Test. The night before I had a dream that I was pregnant and thought there’s no way, it was just a dream. However, the more I thought about the dream and compared it to how my body was feeling, I was beginning to get more and more unsure and decided to take a test. I was so shocked by the positive result that I took another test just to be extra sure and ended up staring at the two tests and myself in the mirror in shock for about 45 minutes to an hour before I finally went back to bed where my unknowing, peacefully sleeping husband was… LOL!!! I decided to let him sleep and wait until he woke up to tell him the news…. That day was definitely surreal and a high point of the pregnancy. Since that day, it has been a struggle figuring out the do’s and don’t that comes with pregnancy, as well as, all the symptoms you don’t hear much about. You always seem to hear about the highlights of pregnancy and rarely about the difficulties… well, I will be honest with you I full on felt guilty thinking something was wrong with me because it took a long time for the excitement and joy of pregnancy to hit me (which was pretty much when I first felt him moving about halfway or little over halfway through the pregnancy).

Throughout this pregnancy I have dealt with the tenderness and aches throughout the body, the sciatic pain, the fatigue, food aversions, acid reflux, all over the place emotions, vomiting which thankfully went away midway through the second trimester and the big one, the nausea which has been persistent even to this day (a month before baby comes). I feel like there is so much more that I didn’t mention but these are the main ones… I don’t want to scare women who have yet to go through a pregnancy (NOT EVERYONE GETS ALL OF THESE SYMPTOMS, just know if you do YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!). It can be hard just getting out of bed and even more so to put on a smile and pretend like you feel great when in reality you feel horrible. I will admit though, it’s crazy how difficult the pregnancy can be and yet there is a relief or a joy that comes when you hear the baby’s heartbeat, see the baby on the ultrasound and feel the baby move that somehow diminishes the difficulties! I can’t explain it, just that those moments help ease the difficulties and makes it worth it, knowing that God is using your body to grow that precious little life and in the end you will get to hold that little one.

What an awesome God we serve! He is our Helper, our Provider and our Comforter. Yes, this pregnancy was not planned and has been very difficult but this little life is a blessing and who are we to argue with God’s perfect timing? What may have added to the difficulty is the fact that Nate and I ARE still getting used to being married and we have been rushing on getting furniture and organized. Also we have been trying to figure out how to live with each other not to mention dealing with my ridiculous pregnancy hormones which makes me even more difficult to talk to and reason with. But I am blessed! I have been blessed with such a patient husband, wonderful family and friends and with being able to stay at home to rest, work on the house and focus on preparing for the baby. And soon I will be able to hold this little life that God has blessed us with. God has used the difficulties to help us to let go, rely on His strength and trust in Him.

In being able to stay at home and lay in bed, I have been able to do so much research in trying to be the best I can be and give this baby the best life I can help him have. Of course, putting God first but also with the hopes of giving our baby the chance to have a healthy start at life. I have been researching baby products and am thankful we get the chance to use healthy, clean products- from clean soaps, detergents, diapers and wipes to using bamboo, hypoallergenic materials. I also will be striving for the Bradley Method way of delivery, exclusively breastfeeding and striving to eventually make our own baby food. All of this is a hope I have, in reality well we will see as there are complication possibilities that may arise during deliver and sometimes babies tend to have preferences on diapers or things of that sort… but it’s ok, because God is in control. Nothing is a surprise to Him and we will rely on Him to give us wisdom and help us in our decisions. I will say that all the research has definitely helped me get through the pregnancy. It helped me focus on the future and the baby than on how I have been feeling. Now that I have mostly everything done, the house ready, birth plan finished and copies made, the diaper bag and hospital bag ready, everything organized and in its place.. I feel like now I can just focus on making it day by day. God has really helped me through this pregnancy and I know that even though there are little unknowns about the remainder of this pregnancy, the delivery of the baby and well the sometimes overwhelming responsibility of becoming parents, God is leading us and we have nothing to fear with Him in control.